there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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