so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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