Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Randomize
