Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
