As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
