Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
