Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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