my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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