Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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