sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
