He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
