The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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