I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
