Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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