Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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