you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
