Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
