He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Randomize
