I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize