I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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