So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
operation harelip BJ is a go
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
