Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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