i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
