I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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