Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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