There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
