there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
