He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
