Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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