I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
