I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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