so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We're too hungover to prance.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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