i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
