TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
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