no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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