I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
