so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
