My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize