Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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