My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
