can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
