i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
