Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
