32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
