I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
