Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just high enough for therapy.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
