You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
