feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
