You're a womanizer and a bitch.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize