if only i could text you this smell
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
