He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize