some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
