New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
