My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize