I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
