FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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