I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
