I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
