yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
