im holly from the hills drunk
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
