he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Randomize
