Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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