I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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