If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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